Jumping, diving pigs are on the way, but they're not fish

In my life as an outdoor reporter, I get a blizzard of press releases every week. Most of them get released unharmed into my recycle bin, but one caught my eye today.

The bombastic screed promotes Randall's High Diving Racers, which are pigs that will dive and swim at the Tacoma Dome Boat Show from March 29 to April 2.

According to the press release, Duroc, Hampshire and Asian Potbelly pigs will dive 10 feet into a 1,200-gallon pool.

Some of the star porkers are "One Hung Too Low," "Hamu, the Killer Pig" and "Pork Chop."

Hmmmm.

This giddy press release goes on to say that the pigs love their work and have appeared in Las Vegas, the Grand Ole Opry and CNN.

Jumping and diving pigs is the rare outlandish spectacle that could compete with hundreds of boats crammed into the Tacoma Dome -- and the prices for some of those boats.

I always know I can't afford a boat when an attractive young woman is standing on the spacious rear deck -- and all the salesmen are wearing blue blazers and nautical ties.

Well, I'm a drift boat kind of guy anyhow.

Yeah, I'll go to the show, but I'm hoping for a good deal on a sit-on-top fishing kayak. The chances of my wife, Sarah, allowing me to buy a nice center console boat are about as likely as flying -- not jumping or swimming -- pigs.

For more information on the show, visit www.tacomadomeboatshow.com