Marriage worth all the work

October 20, 2012 

By far, one of the easiest ways for couples to kill their marriage is when they stop pursuing one another. Your goal should be to work just as hard to keep your spouse as you did to win him/her in the first place.

Before marriage you put a lot of effort into trying to win your future husband’s/ wife’s love and trust. You spent hours communicating. You sent cards, gifts and flowers. You pursued your future spouse and made it your goal to win him or her to be yours.

Sadly, a few months (or years) after the marriage, you quit pursuing one another as you once did. For some reason couples quit dating one another and pursuing each another. Maybe it’s because you get lazy. Maybe it’s because deep down you think, “I’ve won her (or him). She’s (he’s) mine, so why must I continue to do all those things and work as hard as I did?” Maybe it’s because you are tired and worn out from work and the kids. Maybe it’s because you are just “comfortable” in your marriage.

When you stop pursuing your spouse problems begin to arise and the marriage relationship begins to break down. When this happens, needs quit being met and a couple is left wondering “what happened to our marriage” and “where did the person go that I married?”

Husbands and wives, pursue your spouse today. Marriage is a gift from God. Having a good marriage takes work, but it is well worth it. Look at the ring on your left hand, commit yourself to exploring anew what that ring represents, and love passionately, crazily, enduringly the fleshly person who put it there.

The Olympia church of Christ is hosting a seminar to help our marriages on Oct. 26-27. Dr. Phil Sanders, speaker for the national television show “In Search of the Lord’s Way” and author of several books, will be speaking at 7 p.m. (God’s Plan for Marriage) and 8 p.m. (Love and Respect) on Friday. Then on Saturday, Oct. 27, Dr. Sanders will present lessons at 9:30 a.m. (Communication and Affection), 10:30 a.m. (Love Breakers), and 1 p.m. (Developing Intimacy). All of the lessons are free and open to the public.

Our building is at 3132 Boulevard Road SE in Olympia. If you have any questions, please call the church office at 360-357-8304 or email olycofchrist@

Dr. Mark Johnson is the preacher for the Olympia church of Christ, 3132 Boulevard Rd. SE, Olympia, WA 98501 (360) 357-8304. Perspective is coordinated by Interfaith Works in cooperation with The Olympian. The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily endorsed by Interfaith Works or The Olympian.

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