Peter Callaghan: Don’t expect to find these Valentines at the card shop

Staff WriterFebruary 13, 2014 

It’s traditional around Valentine’s Day to send greetings to loved ones. And when you care enough to send the very best, go to Hallmark.

If you couldn’t care less, try these.

Washington Supreme Court to Legislature

Yes, we hear you whine

You say we crossed the line

It’s just that we get weary

When you don’t fund McCleary

Sen. Baumgartner to Washington Supreme Court

Roses are red

Violets are grand

This Valentine’s Day

Please go pound sand

Legislators to tax loopholes

Don’t listen to our words

’bout tax breaks we deplore

For every loophole that we close

We fall in love with 20 more

State Senate’s 24 Republicans to Rodney Tom

We’ll always love you for the way

You helped to make us what we are

Yet you’ll no longer be our leader

If in the fall we add one R

Voters to the House and Senate

The House kills all the Senate bills

House bills the Senate’s sure to shun

So since you don’t have much to do

How will we know when you are done?

Marijuana fans to, you know, whoever

Cannabis is green

Daffodils are yellow

We can hardly wait

To buy some legal mellow

Bertha to Seattle

Don’t worry dear that I have stopped

One-tenth distance toward my goal

Just think how with a shorter tunnel

You’ll pour less money down this hole

Seattle Mariners to sports fans

Remember when you loved us best?

You told us to “Refuse to Lose”

The only gifts you give us now

Are empty seats and lusty boos

President Obama to Americans

I’d really like to share the love

Full credit I am prone to share

From now on when we talk of health

Let’s simply call it Boehner-Care

Gov. Jay Inslee to state residents

I hope you’ve noticed I’ve become

More serious in all my talks

It’s only every other speech

I end by shouting “Go Seahawks!”

Teachers to legislators

Roses are red

Flowers make honey

Prove that you love us

Show us the money

The Washington Education Association to poor children

It’s not our fault that you don’t learn

The corporate types they spread such smears

When poverty is cured, you’ll bloom

Check back with us in 50 years

South Carolina machinists to Boeing

Hey sorry that the jets we build

Are so subpar you’re losing sleep

You didn’t hire us ‘cuz we’re good

You hired us because we’re cheap

Boeing bosses to Legislature

How do you love us?

We could count the ways

But not a single tax break passed

Though you’ve been meeting 30 days

U.S. Open to 12th Man

We love you for your 12th Man roar

We love the way you strut

Make all the noise you want next year

But please be quiet when we putt

Peter Callaghan: 253-597-8657 peter.callaghan@ thenewstribune.com @CallaghanPeter

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