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Sex workers in fight for civil rights, too

• Published November 28, 2008

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We are everywhere.

I was reminded of this recently.

We are children and adults. We are families, and we are singles. We are plumbers, sanitation workers and secretaries.

We have held the top job in the nation. (Bonus points if you can name the president who was rumored to be gay.)

And we have worked the streets.

Yet we still are marginalized. Some of us are more marginalized than others.

"Being a sex worker is the bottom of the social ladder — drug dealers get more respect," said a Denver-based escort who uses the name Beverly Fisher. "Fighting for the rights of sex workers is going to take a long time."

Starchild (yes, that is his real name), a San Francisco-area courtesan, compares the fight for rights for sex workers to the fight for GLBT rights.

"I think we're about 30 years or so behind where the queer community is with regard to being out of the closet as being sex workers," he said.

Starchild also is outreach director for the Libertarian Party of San Francisco and is active in the Sex Workers Outreach Project, an advocacy group. He was a strong proponent of Proposition K, a San Francisco measure aimed at decriminalizing prostitution. The measure would have barred local authorities from investigating, arresting or prosecuting anyone for selling sex. Advocates said it also would have saved the $11 million the police spend each year arresting sex workers.

"The basic idea is to help people think about this as a professional service," Starchild said.

While Proposition K failed, he is hopeful sex workers will make civil rights advances.

"I do think we will continue to make gains and we will see it get decriminalized," he said. "If all the clients and sex workers were open about what they did, government would not be able to treat us as criminals. They would have to acknowledge us as people doing a professional line of work. The stigma would be greatly reduced."

What I find interesting is that both Fisher and Starchild identify as bisexual.

"Almost every girl I know identifies as bisexual and has no problem being intimate with women," Fisher said.

But whether they identify as bisexual as part of their work or in their personal relationships, it is hard to tell. And definitions of bisexuality range from the sexual to the emotional.

"I look at their relationships, and their primary relationships are always with men," Fisher said.

Starchild adds, "It is more common among female sex workers trying to attract a male clientele" to identify as bisexual.

There are very few statistics on sex workers. But Fisher said there is what she calls "provider lore." It is the stories passed down through those in the sex trade.

"We have an oral tradition that we pass down. We tell each other stories of what things were like in different times," Fisher said. "That's how we learn the business — we learn from other women."

Working in the industry since 1986, Fisher has a lot of lore. She has an extensive sex-related library and she carries the stories of the women she has known for more than two decades.

As a sex worker, she finds a wide variance in how people identify sexually. Although many identify as bisexual, it can mean many things.

Fisher sees how her clients view it.

"The clients love the idea of bisexual women, but only as a means to turn them on," Fisher said. "If they think that I prefer women over men, I would lose business. What they want, really, is the Penthouse bisexual: 'I'm doing this cause it makes you hot.' ... There are women who identify as bisexual but purely as part of their sex life. What I call real bisexual are those who have real relationships with women."

She knows lesbians who work in the business.

"I know a couple of lesbian providers, but they want to keep it under wraps," she said. "Clients have to have the illusion that you are turning them on. The idea of being with a lesbian would kill that illusion for them."

She also sees the friends that sex workers keep. Often, Fisher said, they are gay men. "A huge percentage of providers are fag hags."

It all goes to show that we are everywhere. And I am fascinated by all of the things that we do.

But those who are marginalized should not look down on others, whether it is for their sexual orientation or their chosen profession.

Ruth Schneider enjoys everyone's individual stories. Contact her at rschneider@theolympian.com or call 360-704-6873.