What values are we instilling in our children?

• Published April 15, 2009

Comments (0)

When this article is published, I will be at 15,000 feet on a trek in Nepal - something I have dreamed of doing since I was 16. It took me until near 60 to get there.

In the process of packing, I had the nagging revelation that I don't have a will. What if something happened to me? In thinking about this, I realized that it isn't really money or possessions that I want to leave my grown children. Granted, on the surface that is important to clarify, but what values or ethics do I hope to leave them with?

I brought this question to a group of dear friends on a Saturday morning, and we got a little sappy over our waffles but this was the wisdom we harvested:

One woman says she has learned that at the core of every religion is the message of compassion. Her message to her daughter is to find ways to show compassion in everything she does.

Another wants to encourage her sons to listen and follow their deepest calling — that bringing their gifts into the world is their greatest responsibility.

Yet another friend has a similar message: Pay attention to what gives you joy and share that with the world.

Another woman thinks we should pay attention to what our children will remember because what they remember often is not what we intended.

To my daughters, two of whom can be stifled by perfectionism I would say: Be brave enough to make mistakes. How will we grow if we only do the things we already know how to do? I nag them to compost, recycle ... the list is endless. I tell them to be responsible to the environment and they are.

Running a nonprofit in times like these makes it tough to be an optimist, but I recognize that happiness is a choice. Every day, we all have a choice of how we want to live and interact with the world. That does not mean we ignore terrible things or suffer from imminent budget cuts, but I have never seen cynicism or apathy accomplish anything.

We all agree that all life is interdependent. The choices we make and the values we impart every day effect not only our children but also the environment, our homes and future generations. The Communities that Care Coalition makes its decisions by asking first "is it good for the children?"

County Commissioner Cathy Wolf noted that the commissioners are routinely asking, "is it good the children, and is it good for the environment?"

In these economic times we all know that profits come and go. The economy rises and falls but neglecting our children or damaging our environment will have consequences far into our future. What legacy, what values or ethics will we as parents and as a responsible community instill in our youth and what kind of a community will they inherit as a result?

Annie Cubberly, executive director of the Child Care Action Council, is a member of The Olympian's Board of Contributors. She can be reached at annie@ccacwa.org.