Children’s adventures into language add flavor to family lexicon

posted 11:48 PM 11/14
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I know experts discourage parents from allowing their children to use baby talk. But honestly, those experts don’t understand how adorable and entertaining it is when my children mispronounce words.

Some of their unique words have become a regular part of our family’s lexicon. Just ask Kappa, my husband’s dad, who earned his Greek-letter nickname when our daughter couldn’t pronounce the word “grandpa.”

Kappa stuck, and is now interchangeable with “grandpa”.

Here are some of our other favorite words and terms:

Bob: Forget Mama, or Mommy, or even Mom. Our daughter insisted on calling me Bob when she began talking. And then, to top things off, she said “Daddy” perfectly clearly. After several agonizing weeks of “Bob,” she started calling me “Lisa.” I longed for the day she would utter Mama or Mommy. I would have even settled for “meh” at that point.

It wasn’t until my husband started calling me Mama – which, let’s face it, seemed a little creepy at first – that our daughter followed suit.

Bubbers: This is our youngest son’s nickname for his big brother. We’re pretty sure Bubbers was his way of saying “Brother.” Months later, our oldest son insists on being called Bubbers, not Brother. He even refers to himself as Bubbers, on days that he wants to talk in third person.

On a related note, our kids’ great-grandpa Bud became Bud from brothers who called him “Butter.”

Hecker: Long before our daughter was born, our hearts were taken over by an adorable fuzzy Australian Shepherd puppy that we named Alexis. Our worlds revolved around her until we had a baby and realized that she was, gasp, a pet. “Hecker” was our daughter’s way of saying “Alexis.” What’s interesting is that as our beloved dog aged in years and lost her hearing, she responded better to “Hecker” than “Alexis” most of the time.

Ganks: That was the way our daughter said the word “thanks.” My husband and I immediately began saying “gelcome” in response.

Big Kappa and Big Grandma: You know how children think that the words “big” and “older” are synonymous? I think that’s because a big sister or big brother is usually older. One day, our daughter began calling her great-grandma “Big Grandma.” After that, Big Grandma and Big Kappa were her special names for my mother-in-law’s parents.

Bobo: Once upon a time, a demon cat named Bonus – who didn’t like to follow certain rules, such as use the cat box when indoors – resided at our house. However, instead of “Bonus,” our oldest son called him “Bobo.”

Eventually, he named his favorite stuffed animal Bobo. About a year later, when we got a new puppy, my husband insisted on letting our son name it. And, yes, her name is Bobo.

Boy, I’m glad we didn’t give him authority to name his little brother.

Pew-pew: A few months ago, our youngest son kept saying, “Where my pew-pew go?” He had taken an interest in potty training, so naturally we assumed he was talking about something that was bathroom-related. He wasn’t.

It turned out, he was looking for his new squirt gun. As soon as he found it, he pointed it in the air and went, “Pew! Pew!” Now anything that resembles a gun – whether it’s a stack of Legos, a stick, or an actual toy weapon – is referred to as a pew.

Un-ghees: Our youngest son’s word for undies, or underwear.

My thong: Our daughter went through a phase where she had to hear Sheryl Crow’s “Soak up the Sun” during every car ride, over and over again.

It was her favorite song. But since she had a slight lisp, every time the song didn’t automatically repeat, she’d scream, “My thong!” instead of “My song!”

Hama-burger: Our daughter’s word for hamburger. We loved the extra “a” in the middle, and eventually introduced her to “Cheeza-burgers” too.

Bucks: Our oldest son’s first word wasn’t mama or daddy or sissy. Not even close. Howard Schultz, if you are reading this, you’ll be pleased to know that my son’s first word was “Bucks.” And he said it clear as day while pointing to a sign featuring your famous coffeehouse mermaid.

Mamas: Without the “s,” our oldest son was referring to me. With the “s,” it meant that he wanted to nurse.

Chicken: When our daughter was a toddler, she insisted that any type of meat was chicken. We finally stopped arguing with her because we were on the Atkins diet, and “chicken” was a daily staple at our house. One day, while dining on expensive steaks, she said: “This is the best chicken ever!”

Ping-ping: Our daughter’s word for piggybank. I was never sure if she was trying to say “piggy” or if that was her way of repeating the sound that the coins made when they hit the bottom of the bank.

Pinky: Our daughter’s word for her favorite blankie, which was pink.

Titty-wanket: Our oldest son’s word for his favorite blanket, which was covered with pictures of kitty cats. Back then, we didn’t know he had some hearing loss due to chronic ear infections, so many of his words were probably more a combination of things he had read from our lips, or words he couldn’t hear himself mispronounce.

We couldn’t help but giggle every time we heard him ask for the “kitty blanket.” But we also tried to correct his enunciation of that term because it was a strange combination of words, and we didn’t want to get a call from Child Protective Services.

Former Olympian reporter Lisa Pemberton is busier than ever with her three children. She can be reached at lisapemberton@rocketmail.com.

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