Birds and bees column conjures up memories for readers

posted 11:49 PM 11/07
Permanent Link.

It feels good to know that I’m not alone.

Inspired by the Oct. 18 Busy Mama column, “Brace yourself for the inevitable birds and bees talk,” several readers shared their experiences and thoughts on the importance of talking openly with kids about puberty and sex.

Lately, I’ve been doing more research on the topic as well. I found a great Web site, www.talkingwithkids.org, which is published by the nonpartisan research advocacy group Children Now and the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation.

According to the site: “Studies show that kids who feel they can talk with their parents about sex – because their moms and dads speak openly and listen carefully to them – are less likely to engage in high-risk behavior as teens than kids who do not feel they can talk with their parents about the subject .”

The Web site offers tips, links and resources on talking to kids about several of the biggies: sex, violence, HIV and AIDS, drugs and alcohol. I’m planning to study up on all of them. I don’t want a repeat of the awkward nondiscussion that took place about two years ago when my daughter asked where babies come from.

Here are some of the reader responses to my earlier column:

Cute.

It reminded me of when my grandson Seth got to be in the delivery room to see his baby brother born.

As I drove him home afterward, I asked, “Wasn’t that wonderful to watch your brother come out?”

His answer, “Yes! But how did he get in there?”

P.S. If your daughter is nearly 9, I think it’s time that you brought up the topic instead of waiting for another question! Haha.

– Karen Strand, Lacey

Your daughter, you say, is almost 9. A wonderful age. Your column brought back many memories.

The first was starting my period with no warning whatsoever on the subject. When I went to my mother thinking there was something wrong, she handed me a pad, belt and booklet. That was it. At 12, I was initiated into the sneak-a-pad-out-of-mom’s-closet club.

When my daughter was 9, I knew I had to do better.

Looking at her I could see the beginning of pubic hair and breast buds. I went to the library and got the best books I could and gave them to her. These weren’t all that good but they gave the idea. She didn’t believe them or me. I finally had to get her teacher to affirm the information.

Make sure your daughter understands what is being said, but do not push her for answers.

Most girls will show signs of maturing before they “need” the information, but be cautious as some will not.

Girls mature earlier now than before, according to doctors. (I blame the hormones in milk and other food substances.) When I was young, 12 to 16 was normal for the first period. Now it can occur much younger.

Please let your daughter know that this is a normal sign of maturing – do not call it “the curse” or “Eve’s punishment” or any other thing that makes it sound like women are not fit members of society.

Women are and always have been strong and equal participants in life, and acceptance of our bodies is the first step in being strong and active all though life.

– Virginia Towne, Olympia

Oh, you have moved the dust on the craniums of every parent with the column today.

It matters not that I am 70 years old – I remember my own parental sequence like it just happened.

As the mother of two boys and as a high school biology teacher, that sequence was referenced many, many times as I worked with my students to help them understand the plight of the parent.

There is something about talking to one’s own children that is so much more difficult than doing it in a public school setting.

In any event, I just had to comment on how much I enjoyed and empathized with the content of today’s contribution.

– Vicki DeBoer, Olympia

Former Olympian reporter Lisa Pemberton is busier than ever with her three children. She can be reached at lisapemberton@rocketmail.com.

Comments

Happy memories help troubling ones fade to black

posted 08:38 AM 11/01

You've probably heard the saying about childbirth: "Once you hold that precious baby in your arms, you'll forget about all of the pain you just went through."

Feel good if you can help at your child’s school

posted 11:48 PM 10/24

I’ll never forget the shame, guilt and frustration I felt while attending my first open house and ice cream social at my daughter’s school.

Brace yourself for inevitable birds and bees talk

posted 07:46 AM 10/18

About two years ago, our daughter asked how a baby got into her older cousin's tummy.

Little money goes long way to create Halloween fun

posted 08:17 AM 10/11

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.

Celebrate fall with corn, pumpkins, cider

posted 09:13 AM 10/04

The air is crisp. Fresh pumpkins, squash and a plethora of other produce items are in season.

Children's injuries turn strong woman into a weak mama

posted 08:36 AM 09/27

I've been certified in first aid and CPR numerous times.

Admitting fear is first step to overcome germ phobia

posted 08:46 AM 09/20

I've always been a little bit of a germ phobe.

Small changes in your routine can lead to a greener school year

posted 07:37 AM 09/13

Most families are adjusting to new routines for the school year. With all of the changes, why not add a few habits that help promote a greener lifestyle?

Readers have their own 'Busy Mama' moments

posted 09:35 AM 09/06

Like most parents, I love talking about my kids, especially when they’ve done something particularly funny, cute, shocking or brilliant.