Personalizing a traditional event

• Published June 20, 2008

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I had been having a problem finding music for my wedding, so I decided I would just do my own music. I have a huge library of music on an external hard drive plugged into my computer, but the problem I found I faced was that even though the music was all there, I didn’t have a big enough sound system to accommodate the room I’ve rented for the wedding — not to mention the room with 100 people in it. So I called Music 6000 to find out what they had to offer, and admittedly, it was my friend and co-worker Misty who lit that bulb because it hadn’t even occurred to me to rent a sound system.

“Guitar” Bill told me that lots of people are doing this for their weddings. This surprised me. I don’t know why, it’s one of the best ways to ensure that you like the music that’s played. It was at that moment that the words came to mind that approximately 100 people have repeated to me over the past four months: “It’s your wedding, and there are no rules. Have fun.”

Up until then, I had been worried about every little detail, what’s appropriate and what’s not, who’s going to do this, and who’s going to do that. There is lots of cutesy traditional bride-and-groom stuff that seems OK for 20-something first-time-married people that just didn’t fit me — or Mr. B, for that matter. Neither of us are what I would call “appropriately by-the-book” people. I’m not wearing white, but not because of its virginal reputation, which I don’t have — but because I just don’t like white. My dress is very red — and I’m toying with the idea of the comfort of my motorcycle boots for the day. Hey, they wouldn’t show.

Mr. B also was shocked when I asked him if he wanted to “leather-up” for our wedding. He was stressing about the whole tuxedo thing, even though that was never something I would have asked him to do. He would have if I had asked, but I know he would have hated it, so why? As our “man of the cloth” said to us on Friday: “This is your day, make it your dream come true.” So, with all the tradition and historical superstitions surrounding weddings, I like that I can pick and choose the ones that are solely important to me and Mr. B. The funny part is that both Mr. B and I are in agreement on which parts of the wedding should remain traditional, and even though we both have ideas about things we’d like to say to each other, we have agreed that the vows will remain mostly traditional. I like that our minister has come up with lots of ideas on how to personalize our vows without giving up the importance of tradition.

I am constantly amazed at how much of our “personalized” wedding came from ideas that have been offered up by friends and family. They’ve had good ideas — and many are things I hadn’t thought about. Once again, I find myself grateful to have the people in my life that I do.