Mentally ill people fight unseen battles — and win

Every day she comes to work and every day she fights the terror that chokes off her air and covers her in a cold sweat. Still, she sits at her desk and does her work and you don't know the battle she's fighting. She has learned to hide it.

She told me she is a coward, but actually she's one of the bravest people I know.

Yet another of my favorite people has fought bipolar disorder for as long as she can remember. She is also brilliant, funny, insightful, perceptive, loving, empathetic and interesting. Knowing her is a joy.

She's one of the strongest people I know.

I knew a girl whose parents wanted a boy so vehemently that she actually made them one. She and that boy lived together in her body for quite some time until they (communicating through their therapist) decided to integrate.

She was about 15 years old when I knew "them" and both personalities were kind and endearing. When Lewis came out to say goodbye before the integration, I was honestly grief-stricken.

Then there's the woman you might have seen on the streets of Olympia. She lived at my house until her own anger drove her away. She was often frightened by hallucinations and delusional thoughts from paranoid schizophrenia. Yet she could be quite sane when engaged in conversation, was there with a hug any time life got hard, was a terrific cleaner and was perfectly trustworthy around children.

To many, the image of mental illness is of shambling, muttering homeless people or grainy, black-and-white photographs of drooling, twisted shells with empty eyes. Of all the mentally ill people, those so stricken are relatively few. The rest walk among us. They are us.

Some therapists suggest that most of us could be defined as mentally ill at one point or another. I've definitely had my moments.

I have met many people who think mental illness is weakness. I can't imagine how they reached that conclusion. Life under ordinary circumstances takes strength and courage, but to go forth and live in this world with the extraordinary challenge of mental illness is simply awe-inspiring. The mentally ill people I know are among the bravest and strongest people I have ever known.

In some ways, being mentally ill defines a person. But in other ways, it has nothing to do with it. They do not stop being good people or cease to be intelligent. Some might have limitations, but are still perfectly competent in other ways. The schizophrenic daughter of a friend had the sweetest, most loving hugs ever. Her mind ran amok, but her touch was sane.

It's reasonable to be frightened by people who behave erratically. How will they react? Are they safe to be around?

However, your perfectly normal-seeming friend, co-worker or neighbor also might be fighting a battle with mental illness. You don't necessarily know it because, at least for that day, they are winning the battle.

Mental illness is a war that some do, indeed, lose. But there are so many winners. These folks probably don't perceive themselves as brave or strong, but every day they quietly and heroically define those terms.

Maya North, a member of The Olympian's Board of Contributors, has gone from street kid to bachelor's degree; welfare mom to computer programmer with the Department of Labor and Industries. She can be reached at mayanorth@gmail.com.