Sideline Chatter: He’s a man possessed to lead the league

By Dwight Perry | The Seattle Times • Published July 03, 2008

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SEATTLE — Clay Bennett, NBA commissioner?

Don’t laugh. History says it might happen.

After all, the last carpetbagger to successfully spirit a team out of Seattle — in 1970, when the Seattle Pilots became the Milwaukee Brewers — was none other than Bud Selig.

Dunking for dough

UCLA, locking up the basketball coach who has taken the Bruins to three consecutive Final Fours, has bestowed a seven-year, $16 million contract on Ben Howland.

Or as he’s now known in the coaching fraternity, The Financial Wizard of Westwood.

You make the call

Sample question from Chris Ferrell’s current-events quiz in the San Antonio Express-News:

"The most bizarre story to make headlines this week was:

"a) Alex Rodriguez being linked to Madonna, complete with stories that he’s been spotted leaving her apartment late at night.

"b) Mike Tyson denying allegations that he tried to bankroll a hit on members of a Brooklyn gang called the Cash Money Brothers.

"c) The guy who played Mini-Me has a sex tape.

"d) The Tampa Bay Rays are the best team in baseball."

Deeper and Deeper

And speaking of Madonna, the Tampa Bay Times published this headline after the Rays, discounted by Boston slugger David Ortiz, swept the Red Sox to take a 3½-game lead in the AL East: "Papi don’t preach, Sox in trouble deep."

Dead-End Job Dept.

Looking for work in Seattle? The Sonics’ Web site still included this employment opportunity more than 24 hours after Wednesday’s announcement that the team was moving to Oklahoma City:

"Season Ticket Retention & Experience Specialist . . . Responsibilities: Check back soon."

Good question

When push comes to shove, traveling secretaries say, is there a hitter more feared than Manny Ramirez?

Now that’s respect

The death of beloved mascot Uga VI has sent Georgia Bulldogs fans into a full-fledged state of mourning.

Heck, even his fellow dogs have been lifting their legs at half-mast.

Two bits, a quoter

—Brad Rock of the Deseret News, on the Baltimore Orioles’ 12-game losing streak in Sunday games: "Perhaps they’d do well to take Ernie Banks’ advice and play two — on Saturday."

—Comedy writer Brad Dickson, with the latest proof that life isn’t fair: "Herschel Walker has five personalities, Bill Belichick has none."

Bob, Carol, Ted & Alice II

As if the A-Rod-Madonna news wasn’t juicy enough, AP reported that a beleaguered Cynthia Rodriguez flew to Paris to take refuge with a Madonna ex, Lenny Kravitz.

Veteran seamheads say it’s the most startling double-switch since Mike Kekich swapped wives with Fritz Peterson.