Donald Trump disclosed this week that his two favorite books are the Bible and one of his own books.
At a campaign rally this week, somebody showed up with a copy of Trump’s book, “The Art of the Deal.”
“That’s my second favorite book of all time,” Trump announced. “You know what my favorite is? The Bible!”
It may seem strange at first to link the seminal text of Western religion to a 20th century vanity project of self-promotion.
After all, Trump’s book instructs his disciples: “The point is that you can’t be too greedy.”
Jesus admonishes his apprentices in the book of Matthew that “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”
Is this a conflict?
Not if you understand that Trump wasn’t actually referring to the King James version of the Bible, but the little known King Donald version that he relies on.
Here are some key differences.
On the power of the almighty
King James version: “And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.”
King Donald version: “And Trump spake unto them, saying, thou art losers and ye shall be fired.”
On dealing with enemies
King James version: “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”
King Donald version: “But I say unto you dummies, I will attack you on my Twitter account and smite thee with name calling and pray that you fail.”
On finding purpose in life
King James version: “He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity.”
King Donald version: “Trump 2016!”