While you’re in: Inspiration and distraction to keep you going when you can’t go out

Looking for something to do while you’re keeping your distance and theaters, recreational facilities and bars are closed? The Olympian has a few suggestions:

Toilet-paper humor

Surely most of The Olympian’s readers have outgrown toilet humor (or have they?) but toilet-paper humor is another story. Bathroom tissue looms large in the collective consciousness; running out seems to be many people’s greatest fear. Lighten up with a few TP-related comic moments. A classic “Seinfeld” episode (they’re all classics, right?) involves Elaine’s encounter with the stuck-up woman in a neighboring stall, a poor sport who won’t spare a square. Later in the episode, the hoarder gets her well-deserved comeuppance in a scene that seems even funnier than it used to. Also funny, and more likely to be new to you, is a surreal sketch from “The Carol Burnett Show.” Sample line, delivered in a piteous wail: “Why, why did I have to take my toilet tissue for granted?” Check it out as you ponder that very question.

Pause with poetry — and pooches

Lynn Ungar, a Unitarian Universalist minister and dog trainer, was little known as a poet until two weeks ago. That’s when she made a Facebook post of a poem called “Pandemic,” a work that compares social distancing to the sabbath, a time to set aside life’s hurry: “Do not reach out your hands./Reach out your heart./Reach out your words./Reach out all the tendrils of compassion …” On Sunday, Ungar’s Facebook page featured something completely different — a link to advice from her dogs, Wombat and Dingbat. The canine columnists offer advice to a reader who’s struggling with being home alone; perhaps, they suggest, she might enjoy licking peanut butter out of a Kong toy.

Go to the drive-in

Well, sort of. There’ve been some recent news reports of folks going to drive-in movies with the thought that they’re practicing social distancing. (Check out photos at washingtonpost.com/graphics/photography/2020/03/21/last-night-drive-in/.) That seems questionable, though, with the first question being: Aren’t they going to have to use the bathroom at some point during the double feature? A safer option is to bring the drive-in experience home, like Renaissance couple Christian Carvajal and Amanda Stevens of Olympia, who spent Saturday evening on their couch with popcorn and soda watching less-than-great films. “It’s fun watching misguided movies at the drive-in, ’cause when they go wrong you can just fill the time by making out,” the clever Carvajal posted on Facebook. If you’re self-isolating without a romantic partner, this idea is not going to be quite the same — but you could host a Netflix Party instead and trade quips instead of kisses.

This story was originally published March 27, 2020 at 7:45 AM.