Home & Garden

The Santa in this Christmas poem has a holiday green thumb

This Christmas garden poem was written for this column more than 30 years ago. It is still the most requested encore of any column I have written and as a gift to my readers I grant copyright permission for it to be downloaded and used from my website. This version for 2020 is COVID safe.

Just visit www.binettigarden.com and you also will be able to see where I am speaking and giving gardening Zoom seminars, how to sign up for our trips, and where to send your garden questions if you need a quick answer to a garden problem (that would be the hosted website www.plantersplace.com).

T’was the week before Christmas, and all through the yard, not a gift was given, not even a card.

The tools were all hung, in the carport with care, with hopes that St. Nicholas soon would repair,

The shovel with blade all rusty and cracked, the pitchfork still shiny, but handle it lacked.

When out on my lawn, (it is brown and abused) I could see a masked Santa, looking confused.

No list had been left for Santa to see, no gardening gifts were under the tree.

But wait there’s still time, it’s not Christmas yet, and gardening gifts are the safest to get.

You can forget the silk tie, the fluffy new sweater, give something to make the garden grow better.

If she wants a gift shiny, then don’t be a fool, it’s not a dumb diamond, but a sparkling new tool.

If fragrance is listed, you can forget French perfume, it’s a pile of manure that’ll make gardeners swoon.

Give night crawlers, not nightgowns, the type of hose that gives water. (Anything for the kitchen is not worth the bother.)

Give a great gift that digs in the dirt, it is better than any designer-brand shirt.

Now look quick at Santa, this guy’s not so dumb. Under his glove, he hides a green thumb.

His knees are so dirty, his back how it aches, his boots stomp on slugs, (he gives them no breaks).

The guy only works winter, you can surely see why, the rest of the year is a gardening high.

Elves plant in the spring, pull weeds merrily all summer, in fall they all harvest, but winter’s a bummer.

And so Christmas gives Santa a part-time employment, ‘til spring when blooms are his real life enjoyment.

So ask the big guy for garden gifts this year: seeds, plants and tools — Santa holds them all dear.

You see malls may be corona crowded, vendors hawking their ware, but visit a nursery, stress-free outdoor shopping is there.

Now Santa’s flown off, to the nursery he goes, and his voice fills the night with loud Hoe! Hoe! Hoes!

Merry Christmas.

Marianne Binetti has a degree in horticulture from Washington State University and is the author of several books. Reach her at binettigarden.com.

This story was originally published December 19, 2020 at 5:45 AM.

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