‘He had a knack for cheering people up.’ Family remembers Olympia teen after tragic death
At the age of 6, Avery Ping asked his mother if they could have dinner in the front yard of their Olympia home.
Prism Dawn McCabe agreed to his request and they set out to have a picnic under the moonlight. Just before they were ready to eat, she noticed Ping close his eyes and sit still for a few moments.
“I asked him what he was doing,” Dawn McCabe said. “Without skipping a beat, he says, ‘Oh, I was just praying that anyone in the world today that doesn’t feel God’s love can know that they’re loved.’”
For Dawn McCabe, Ping’s words revealed how naturally compassionate he was. She said he often showed that trait with his family, peers and neighbors.
“He was goofy and smiley,” Dawn McCabe said. “He had a knack for cheering people up. … He’d notice if someone was sad and come and inject a bit of humor to help.”
Avery Ping, 16, died at an Olympia hospital from a drug overdose after ingesting a fentanyl and methamphetamine mixture that he thought was ecstasy. He obtained the mixture from an Olympia man who has since been charged with controlled substance homicide and accused of dealing drugs to minors in the community.
While that case continues through the courts, his family and communities on both coasts have been mourning his tragic death.
On Jan. 12, his family held a memorial for Avery Ping at Soul Café, a downtown Olympia eatery near Heritage Park that’s owned by his parents Prism Dawn and Devon McCabe. A multitude of people crowded into the café, Dawn McCabe said, and many attendees queued up to share memories of the teen.
“The service went over, but we just kind of let people keep sharing,” Dawn McCabe said. “And the fact that there were teens that were coming up to the mic to share, you know, just really blew me away.”
Additional memorials, including an online one and another at his last school in New York state, drew many attendees, his family said.
As with the one in Olympia, his family was struck by stories people told about how Avery Ping made a difference in their lives by simply walking up to them when they were lonely and crack a smile.
“I feel like the kind of people that really change the world positively aren’t always the people that are in the media,” Devon McCabe said. “They are the people that do little things over the course of their life. … He really understood that. He understood that those small things really mattered.”
From Washington to New York
Avery Ping lived in a split household nearly his entire life, his family said. He attended Olympia High School through the 2023-2024 school year, but he spent his last four months living with his paternal grandparents in rural New York where he attended Hawthorn Valley Waldorf School.
His family had planned for Avery Ping to make the move, his biological father Aaron Ping said, but the decision was ultimately his own. He attended Olympia Waldorf School for middle school, his family said, and he sought to continue his education at a Waldorf school after giving public school a try.
Waldorf schools offer an alternative, holistic education that emphasizes hands-on learning. That style better appealed to Avery Ping and it helped that he had extended family to support him in upstate New York, Aaron Ping said.
“I’m really proud of him,” Aaron Ping said. “He was really just trying to focus on his well-being.”
Dawn McCabe said her son admitted last summer to having tried MDMA, or ecstacy, once, but she thought the matter had been put to rest after having a conversation with him.
“He took it seriously,” McCabe said. “We stressed the seriousness of it.”
He returned to Olympia for the winter holidays in December. What followed on Dec. 19 was completely unexpected, his family said.
“There was just no indication of anything out of the ordinary,” McCabe said. “It was an absolute shock.”
A kind and entrepreneurial spirit
Aaron Ping said his son’s kindness extended to people of all ages. He recalls that Avery Ping often played with his 4-year-old cousin, Milo, while on family trips.
“He was always at his side, holding his hand, helping him over every little stone, playing trains and what not with him. …” Aaron Ping said. “He was just so kind to everybody, but just watching him with Milo was one of the most beautiful things.”
Avery Ping lived with his grandparents Martin and Janene Ping, while he stayed in New York state. Martin Ping said he crossed the Atlantic on the Queen Mary 2 ocean liner with his grandson and other family members in the summer of 2023.
One day, Martin Ping said he found Avery Ping sitting in a hot tub with “four octogenarian Brits” who appeared completely won over by him.
It turned out, Avery Ping told them he was going to visit a family member who owns the West Ham United Football Club in England.
“The thing was, we all referred to this football club over there as Dan’s team...,” Martin Ping said. “And Avery took that to mean that the person we’re going to visit was the owner.”
The mix-up was amusing, but the way Avery Ping managed to charm his audience illustrated how friendly he was, Martin Ping said.
“It didn’t matter how young or old anybody was,” Martin Ping said. “It could be an infant. It could by my 4-year-old grandson. It could be my 87-year-old grandmother. He just was so effusive and outgoing with everybody.”
Devon McCabe said his stepson also had a natural entrepreneurial spirit. Before they owned Soul Café, he said their family sold food at local farmers markets.
At around 8 years old, Avery Ping decided to make art on the spot and sell it to people in the market for $1 a piece, Devon McCabe said. After observing his quick pace at creating the art, Devon McCabe offered him some advice on his latest work.
“I was trying to educate him on adding value to it,” Devon McCabe said. “He just kind of brushed me off and ran off. … He comes back and somebody gave him $5 for it.”
In another instance, Prism Dawn McCabe noticed her son return to their market booth with garden starts. She grew curious and observed him picking chamomile at the park, putting the herbs in cups of hot water and walking off with them.
To get to the bottom of it, she went to chat with people who were selling garden starts. She soon learned her son had started a tea-making business.
“They said they’d watched him sell his first few portions of tea to people and then he used that first chunk of money he made and bought calendula,” Prism Dawn McCabe said. “Then he started adding calendula to the tea and marked it up as medicinal tea.”
Avery Ping’s parents said he had a fondness for the outdoors and poetry. His grandfather said he loved eating and preparing food. They all mentioned he wanted to study medicine, perhaps psychiatry, after high school.
“I encouraged him, because I knew it was coming from this place of really wanting to help people, which is what he did, just with his personality and uplifting people’s spirits,” Martin Ping said.
Adolescence can often be a confusing, challenging time and modernity has made it difficult in new ways, Martin Ping said. Still, he said he wanted people to know that his grandson was a “shining star.”
“I would love to see a safe world for our children to thrive, and I think it’s actually up to all of us to create that,” Martin Ping said. “I actually also believe it’s doable. ... Avery was thriving, and I would have loved nothing more than to be there for his graduation from grade 12 and watch him stand up there and shine.”
People who want to leave a message or read through a book of poetry by Avery Ping can do so by visiting Soul Café at 300 Fifth Ave SW, Olympia. Dawn McCabe said she’s set up a small mailbox and left wildflower seed paper for people to write notes or prayers.
She said Avery Ping’s remains will undergo a terramation process and a tree will be planted on the resulting soil. She said all the seed papers that are left at the mailbox will be planted around the tree using the same soil.
