Age more than a number, it’s an opportunity

“Call 911,” my son snapped. When nobody moved, he spoke again, using what his grandmother would have called his parade field voice. “Call 911!”

There was a general commotion as phones and cellphones were pulled out in unison.

“I’m fine,” I tried to say. But I couldn’t because I was busy choking and turning blue. All I could think was, “Well, they’re never going to invite me back here again.”

It had been such a happy day, spending time with family and I just wanted to take it all in. I had tried to laugh, eat, drink coffee and talk all at the same time. Turns out I can’t do that.

Luckily, the attack subsided before the calls were completed and I hadn’t turned very blue at all. No. 2 son texted reproachfully, “Mother, didn’t anyone ever tell you not to laugh with your mouth full?”

Two years ago, I fell in the same house just before Thanksgiving dinner, hit my head on a table, and had to go to the emergency room for 13 staples in my scalp. Dinner got really cold. I still have a dent going all the way across my head. I don’t think you can see the dent, but the table is cracked clear across. It seems to be hard for the family to relax when I visit.

It’s often said that age is just a number and should be ignored. The people supporting that philosophy ordinarily haven’t even had their first midlife crisis. The fact is that after a certain point, nothing on your body is as elastic or as durable as it used to be. A friend proved that point by exercising vigorously at the YMCA and ignoring the numbers around 70. Strained muscles and a stay at the veterans hospital were a reminder that some numbers can’t be ignored.

Don’t kid yourself: After a certain point, age isn’t just a number — it’s an obstacle course.

Now, the upcoming presidential election is allowing us to have a midlife crisis all together. I voted for the first time in 1956 when Dwight D. Eisenhower ran for a second term as president. We all liked Ike. I dressed up for this important occasion, wearing my ballerina skirt and Juliet cap — and gloves, naturally gloves. It was a truly momentous occasion. Military men had been actively discouraged from voting up until then, so this was my young husband’s first chance to vote as well. We were proud to feel we had a hand in deciding our country’s direction.

It’s different this year. There’s a Bernie Sanders bobblehead talking action figure for sale. In fact, there are bobblehead dolls of all the candidates. You can buy your own assortment, set them on a shelf and watch them bobble together, shaking their heads in all directions in unison and reciting their catch phrases.

What’s really needed is a grandma doll. She would wear a sweatshirt, nicely appliqued with a basket of flowers or autumn leaves, and sit on a shelf, bobbling her little head and saying, “Now, you know better than that,” and “Play nicely together,” and “Take turns.” Someone must remind them.

I sat down with a group of friends recently to celebrate Leap Day, the 29th of February — yeah, we really do that. We talked about what we had missed in the past four years and what we had to look forward to in the years ahead. We smiled at each other in appreciation and made root beer floats, because it seemed like the right thing to do. And then our friend Tony Saletan picked up the peculiar triangular instrument he had brought and said, “How many of you have ever heard a balalaika played?” None of us had, but we were entranced by the light, tripping music he produced.

We all sang together, “Michael, row the boat ashore.” Tony — a community treasure, musician and folk singer — told us the story of how he discovered that song in 1954 in a volume called “Slave Songs of the United States.” He taught it to a fellow named Pete Seeger. As we listened to the familiar music that we might never have heard if it hadn’t been for Tony, it was just possible to remember that bobbleheads come and go, but friends and music and root beer floats remain. Age isn’t just a number, it’s an opportunity.

This story was originally published March 5, 2016 at 9:25 PM with the headline "Age more than a number, it’s an opportunity."