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There are days when we want to resign from life's challenges

Sometimes, even though we can see by dawn's early light that America is beautiful, we get a little ticked off at the government.

Sometimes, we find ourselves saying, “All the government seems to do is cut services for the poor and disadvantaged and give tax breaks and political favors to the last lobbying interest that bought them a big lunch.”

I have said this myself. But I try not to be cynical.

Sometimes, our jobs overwhelm us and we want to write a letter of resignation. We dream of winning the lottery, and being propelled into a life of leisure and guaranteed weight gain.

Sometimes, we just want to check out for a while.

Therefore, I have decided to resign from several of my current responsibilities.

Dear House:

As of this date I am no longer responsible for any sticky windows, leaky basements or plugged gutters. After careful consideration, I have decided the long hours, the unacceptable safety conditions and the ever-present feelings of guilt when I take a day off are not worth the remuneration. Therefore, I hereby serve notice that if any further demands are made on my hammock or golfing time, I will move into a condo and decorate it with artificial vegetation.

Best wishes ...

Dear Meetings:

That’s it. I’ve had enough. You’ve pushed me too far.

When we started, we agreed on one meeting per week. When it got to two, I balked, but gave in. When you moved it up to three, I stayed silent out of respect. Now that you’ve demanded four and five and even six meetings per week, I won’t take it any more.

None. Nada. Put that on your yellow legal pad and crunch it.

Yours truly ...

Dear Children:

After 30 years of service to the firm, I can no longer perform my duties with the same vigor or commitment. However, I remain concerned for the welfare of the group and offer the following list of agencies for outsourcing of my previous duties: Joe’s Limo Service, 339-5225; Jiffy Janitors, 525-3939; Alice’s Katering, 345-6789; and Friendly Bank, 555-2222.

Good luck ...

Dear Sir:

This may come as no shock, but I hereby resign from the institution of adulthood. It sounded so good when I began 40 years ago, but it isn’t much fun now.

The promise of booze, sex, loud music, financial success and marriage were quite a lure.

Then I found out beer makes me fat, my ears ring constantly from loud music, the recession has eaten up any gains in my paycheck and sex and marriage are the cause of children, from which I have already resigned.

Cheers ...

ET CETERA

Have you ever had ideas about how to improve the hospital experience of a patient or a family? If so, you might want to apply for the patient advisory councils being formed at Providence St. Peter Hospital and Providence Centralia Hospital. Providence VP of Quality Jill Cooper is inviting individuals to have a direct impact and influence the policies regarding care and services. Participants will serve on focus groups and may be asked to serve on selected hospital committees that advise on new construction, menus, policies and special projects. Contact Shalene Petrich at 360-493-7550. ... The Thurston Chamber and the Olympia Yacht Club are thanking more than 225 military personnel for their service in the annual Foofaraw on Sept. 10. Yacht club members will transport soldiers, airmen and civilian supporters to the private island, Island Home, for a day of fun and a salmon barbecue. More information at www.thurstonchamber.com. ... The Tumwater Farmer’s Market at the corner of Israel Road and Capitol Boulevard is flush with fresh vegetables and berries from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Wednesdays until the end of October. ... The Sand in the City beach party concludes today with Grandparents Day at the Port Plaza.

George Le Masurier, publisher of The Olympian, can be reached at 360-357-0206 or glemasurier@theolympian.com.

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