Same-sex couple households surge, but Seattle still loses top spot

June is Pride Month, a good time to revisit what census data tells us about same-sex couples in Seattle.

Last year, I reported that Seattle had, for the first time, claimed the No. 1 spot among major U.S. cities for the highest share of same-sex couple households. That was based on 2023 census data. Since then, the number of such households has increased significantly.

But even with that increase, the latest data shows our neighbors to the south have knocked us from the top spot.

In Seattle, there were about 14,300 same-sex couple households in 2024, representing 3.7% of our city's 383,700 households. That's up from 2023, when there were 11,600 same-sex couple households, making up 3.2% of all households.

But Portland, which was No. 2 in 2023, saw an even sharper increase. In the Rose City, same-sex couples made up 3.8% of all households in 2024, up from 3.1% the year before. That claimed the top spot for Portland and dropped Seattle down to No. 2. San Francisco remained in third place at 3.5%, followed by Washington, D.C., at 3.2%. Denver and Minneapolis tied for fifth place, both at 2.9%.

The lowest percentage was in Detroit, at 0.5%.

While we may have lost the bragging rights for the highest percentage, the increase in same-sex couple households here was still impressive. And the census numbers revealed an interesting trend: Almost all of that recent growth comes from couples who have chosen not to tie the knot.

In my previous column, I noted that in Seattle, the number of unmarried same-sex couple households had been growing faster than the number of married couples. In 2019, about 59% of same-sex households were married couples. In 2023, there was a nearly even split - married couples accounted for 51%.

The new data showed nearly all the growth in same-sex couple households was among those who were unmarried, who are now again the majority. In 2024, of the 14,300 same-sex couple households in Seattle, about 8,000, or 56%, were unmarried partners, while 6,200 were married spouses.

This trend sets Seattle apart from much of the U.S. From 2019 to 2024, the number of same-sex spouses has increased by 49% nationally, significantly faster than 35% growth in unmarried same-sex partner households.

In fact, among the 50 largest cities in the United States, Seattle is now one of only 14 where unmarried partners make up the majority of same-sex couple households. The biggest imbalance was in Tucson, Ariz., where 69% of same-sex couple households were unmarried. Jacksonville, Fla., was at the opposite end of the spectrum, at just 27%.

In Portland, 43% of same-sex couple households were unmarried, a surprisingly large difference from Seattle.

Why are Seattle's same-sex couples increasingly opting out of matrimony, even as their overall numbers rise? The census data alone doesn't give us the why." However, we see a similar trend among heterosexual couples in Seattle. From 2019 to 2024, the number of straight married couples grew by about 6%, and the number of unmarried partner households rose by 19%.

Overall, marriage rates have been declining for many decades, and a record share of young people are unmarried. It is likely that the growth nationally in same-sex marriages is a "catch-up effect because marriage rights for gay couples are still so recent.

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