Seeing the American Dream through the fresh eyes of an immigrant

My friend the Barber is keeping the dream alive.

For several years my barber friend Tony has cut my hair and served as my personal interpreter for all things Asian. While my Anglo-Saxon ancestors stepped ashore some 300 years ago, Tony has been a U.S. citizen for fewer than 25 years. Soon after arriving in the States as a Vietnamese immigrant, he went to work for a hair salon franchise with plans to eventually open his own shop. Over the years, he mastered his new language, got married, bought a house and had one child who is now a standout student with dreams of becoming a medical doctor.

I’ve been a loyal customer of Tony’s for about 20 years now. He’s expert at what he does, but what keeps me coming back is what we share. There’s always been something about Tony that is both reassuring and very familiar.

Tony often shares with me his insights on Asian culture and philosophy which can differ in interesting ways from mainstream Western thought — things that are often counter intuitive.

For example, during one visit to his shop he welcomed me with typical enthusiasm and with little pause started talking about the recent Presidential election. He was energized, I could tell, because his usual rapid-fire accented English was incoming faster than I could receive. He wanted to know my impressions of the soon-to-be President. I told him that I had some misgivings as I always have with new Presidents, but was hopeful that as a non-politician he might address some seemingly intractable issues long neglected.

To that he replied, “Yes, yes, but what do you think about what he said to the Communist Chinese who took a drone we lost off our Navy ship? You know, when he told them to ‘just keep it.’”

I thought about it.

“Well,” I said, “it seemed pretty off-the-cuff and probably not the best way to convey the seriousness of such a matter to the Chinese.”

And with that, Tony assumed his favorite pose — hands on hips and a wide smile — and began his most recent lesson on his interpretation of Asian culture and why some of his Asian friends were so very pleased. According to Professor Tony, in Asian culture it’s a major affront to tell ransom-takers that they can keep their booty as it makes them look foolish and weak. And it makes it almost essential, for face-saving reasons, to return the ransom.

“Well,” I said, “let’s hope the incoming President understood the ransom-taker in this case and that his response wasn’t just petulance.”

We both smiled and moved on to more pressing things, like how his child scholar was balancing out a heavy academic load, including music lessons and advanced mathematics. His child is now just four short years from high school graduation, but Tony will be prepared for the coming college expenses — he’s been saving monthly since her birth.

Tony and I were born continents apart into different cultural perspectives, yet there is something familiar that transcends this divide. What Tony represents to me, an aging baby boomer, is the American spirit. Tony is undeterred by challenges and possesses an infectious and irrepressible vision of what is possible. His dedication to a demanding career, often working 12 hours a day, 7 days per week; investing carefully and deferring the purchase of luxuries; and his absolute dedication to family and the education of his child remind me of the best of American culture.

What’s reassuring about Tony is seeing anew the American dream through the fresh eyes of an immigrant. It’s a dream that remains alive and well and accessible, even to a newly minted citizen like Tony.

I’m most grateful that Tony chose the United States as his new home. He’s doing his part to keep the American dream alive and proving yet again the power of an idea and a dream and the will to succeed.

Oh, about Tony’s dream to open his own shop: He’s now the proud owner/operator of a successful hair salon and doing very well — very well indeed. And yeah, the Chinese did give the drone back.

This story was originally published November 8, 2017 at 2:49 PM with the headline "Seeing the American Dream through the fresh eyes of an immigrant."