It’s up to us to bend the curve of depression and despair by connecting with others

State, national, and international experts are sounding the alarm about a corollary to the COVID-19 pandemic: a growing crisis of depression, anxiety, child abuse, domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse and suicides.

These are not happy times, and every unhappiness that came before the pandemic is becoming more intense, more dangerous, and more likely to become lethal. People who were living with mental illness, family dysfunction, or struggling to overcome addiction or poverty are more at risk than ever before.

Even those of us who were OK before the pandemic hit can understand why. Right now we’re all having days when we can barely function. Most of us have episodes of brain fog, inability to concentrate, unbearable sadness, or sudden outbreaks of impatience or anger. We want our normal back. We want the future to be as predictable as we used to think it was. We are struggling to adapt; we are unsettled and traumatized.

Parents are under loads of added stress with kids out of school and isolated from their friends. Scott Hanauer, the clinical director for Family Education and Support Services, says parents are reporting more defiance and power struggles with kids who refuse to participate in online schooling. He’s pretty sure older kids also are sneaking out to be with friends, because he’s seen clumps of teenagers along the side of the road where he rides his bike.

He and his colleagues were expecting a rise in referrals to Child Protective Services with parents and kids quarantined together, but quickly realized calls went down because teachers no longer see kids every day – only parents do. Teachers are mandatory reporters of suspected child abuse and neglect, so child abuse – and often spousal abuse – are now mostly hidden from view. Hanauer thinks “no news is not good news.” When the phones in CPS offices aren’t ringing, the silence is ominous.

All the services that people need for family safety, mental health and addiction are struggling to serve clients while maintaining social distancing. Social workers can’t drive clients to appointments – many of which have been canceled anyway – but they try to call clients daily to stay connected. Sea Mar mental health appointments and even Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are now on Zoom.

“The worst thing for alcoholics is isolation,” says Phil Cutler, who answers the phone at the AA center in downtown Olympia every morning. On the window at the center at 120 Olympia Ave. NE, he’s posted time and Zoom connection information for all AA and Narcotics Anonymous meetings. “People just drive up to the window to get the information,” he says, “because they need the Zoom password and all that.”

He also pleaded that we publish the local AA hotline number: 360-352-7344, which is answered 24 hours a day. “This is a dangerous time for alcoholics,” he says. “I’m especially worried about the new people.”

Isolation is dangerous for everyone – for elders, for teens, for all people who live alone – really, for all humans. Connection is the most important of all the “protective factors” that Hanauer cites as preventive measures against family dysfunction and despair.

For those whose needs are acute, connection with professional help may be right up there with hand sanitizer and toilet paper as a scarce commodity. Our nation’s mental health, child welfare, eldercare and addiction recovery systems are as unprepared and underfunded as our public health system. There are resources – many of which are listed on the Thurston County Public Health and Social Services website — but they weren’t sufficient before the pandemic began, and the federal government’s allocation to our state to beef up mental health and addiction services to meet the COVID-19 crisis is, to put it kindly, modest.

So here’s the challenge: Just as it’s up to all of us to bend the curve of the pandemic by socially distancing, it’s also up to all of us to bend the curve of depression, anxiety, and despair by connecting with people who are dangerously isolated.

If Alcoholics Anonymous can figure out a work-around, so can the rest of us. Many people already have using social media networks and sidewalk conversations with neighbors. We can add offers to cook, shop, mow, or just listen to people who need a big warm hug but would benefit from a sympathetic ear. And we can be more mindful that some of the people in our lives may be much needier than they let on.

To a much greater extent than in the Before Times, we are each others’ keepers. On this front, all of us are front-line workers simply by virtue of being human.

If you need help:

▪ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255.

▪ The Crisis Clinic of Thurston and Mason Counties: 360-586-2800 or 800-627-2211.

▪ South Sound Behavioral Hospital: 844-949-8888.