We're all driven to distraction

Does the highway patrol really appreciate a driver’s window conversation with a conscientious anti-groomer on an hot day? And how will a poor monkey know his mate still loves him if she can’t carefully pick insects out of his fur and eat them on a long trip?

All Thurston wants to know: Is worse legislation written while drunk, stoned, or wired on espresso? And for the medical examiner: What’s comparative body-count of cell-phone hand-holding versus touch-screen looking? Law needs to put some teeth into bringing back knobs and buttons.

Do the state police still have hand-held mics on their dashboards? Casualty figures? Because if one of them ever cost Metro Transit a 60-foot bus, it wasn’t out of my base. So let’s get to the new DWI: Driving While Immobile. The explosive residential economy of Seattle has created a region-full of drivers catatonic with exhaustive boredom.

Answer isn’t more highways. It’s not about gas prices or air quality. We’re out of room. So let’s take a leaf from the international wall industry. We need a beautiful regional transit system, for which those making fortunes from real estate speculation should be glad to pay. Where thousands of former lawbreaking motorists can legally eat, drink, and groom each others’ fur. And legally sleep

This story was originally published August 11, 2017 at 6:37 PM with the headline "We're all driven to distraction."