Theater assigned seating offers no real choices

Hey boss, we’re losing theater customers to the internet and cable. We’ve got to do something to improve our customer base!

I’ve got a brilliant idea. We can improve the customer theater experience by requiring them to select a specific seat. It will only slow each box office purchase by 2 to 3 minutes. Their experience will be enhanced by being surprised to sit next to noisy kids that can’t sit still, someone with a cold or flu, a cell phone addicted theater goer who refuses to stop using their cell phone. It may even force them to pick one of those 100 empty seats down front and 50 in back that are currently going unfilled.

We will create a great humorous side effect as well. Audience members will be entertained as late theater arrivals stumble from row to row over other theater customers in the dark to find their assigned seats. We can even stop advertising in local newspapers.

In a year or two, we can maximize our profits by requiring theater attendees to pay for the most popular seats, after they are used to selecting forced seat assignments in our half empty theater. Yep, these ideas will do the trick to improve our market share!

Really Cinemark? Really Regal? Really AMC? Maybe it’s time to visit our locally owned theaters, such as The Grand Cinema, Capitol Theater, Blue Mouse, Yelm Cinemas and others that actually do care for and cater to the movie-going public.