The Mushroom Fest without mushrooms

We arrived and I went to the mushroom tour. I was disappointed to learn Ostroms mushroom facility throws away its overgrown white mushrooms instead of perhaps donating them to the local food bank or joining the new movement to sell mushrooms that are not the “market” choice to perhaps some produce sellers.

When we got to the shroom feast they had one half tray of something, and chocolate mushrooms. No mushrooms at the mushroom feast. None of the commercial vendors had any mushrooms, except one that sold mushrooms. I was told, “Ma’am, this is a charity.” We used our tickets for booze — very little booze as it turned out.

We did not have any fun. I started saying, as I was leaving, “NO MUSHROOMS HERE!” very loudly as I passed by the booths. Some woman assaulted me by pulling my shoulder back hard and telling me to stop saying my phrase. So a criminal physical assault and then an infringement on my right to free speech — what can I say, a lovely closing to a horrendous experience.

This story was originally published August 12, 2016 at 8:35 AM with the headline "The Mushroom Fest without mushrooms."